To those for whom the essential British diet of fish and chips, even if it has been overtaken by curry, is inescapable, the sight of Concord on a dark night when a punch-up has closed your favourite curry house, will come as a beacon light to a storm-tossed mariner. The staple fare is pretty average, well-battered fish with chips the thickness of a gorilla's hand and the customary range of canned drinks, starting off with that old Scottish favourite, IrnBru. There are other forms of sustenance, few of which are likely to reduce your intake of grease for the day, such as smoked sausages, steak pies and haggis. Sadly, there is no off licence so you will be deprived of the consolation of a decent whisky. But the company can be quite amusing.

Reviewed by Michael Tebbutt